I feel as if I’ve lost who I am as a contributing factor to this blessed world I’ve been placed in. I feel as if I’ve ceased to exist, and if death is on her way- I wouldn’t be surprised. Rather, I would smile at her and say “Oh, hello old friend. I’ve been having this unexplainable feeling that you were near.”
I’m disconnected. Dysfunctional. Draining.
I’m doing things I never would have done before, and each time I feel like I’m losing a piece of my soul.
I crave with every part of me to regain my soul, to be complete; I crave to be fulfilled with light and no longer be an empty vessel.
Only time will tell.
Time will tell.
“It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool’s paradise.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour”
-Auguries of Innocence, William Blake 1803
*The poem is 132 lines which contains a series of paradoxes which speak of innocence juxtaposed with evil and corruption.